Damn furniture

O’dark thirty lesson – don’t place your dining room chairs in a way that you could potentially trip on them on your way to the kitchen to get a cup of water for a screaming toddler. Especially if, in your haste to address the screaming, you forget to put on your glasses.

You will kick the chair. Your bare foot will not love that move and the toddler will still be screaming because of the injustice of an empty cuppy.

You might even run into it again as you make your way back to the living room where you have deposited the screaming banshee of cuteness. At that point you will utter several expletives which can’t be heard because of the squalling in the adjoining room.

At this point, you will push the dining room table, chairs and possibly the cats underneath across the room effectively throwing out your hip because you might not be a spry as you once were

However, once you clear the obstacles, make it back to the shrieking loon of a child, you will be able to give her the cuppy of water- and she will instantly silence.

Snuggle her and put her back to bed.

Throw a dirty look at the dining room, all of it, on your way back to your bedroom.

And, the next morning, if anyone even questions or complains about the noise in the middle of the night- you do have the right to look at them with the clear intention of possible bodily harm.


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