If you have teens, you will automatically be qualified to wrangle rabid and grumpy velociraptors should a need for that ever occur.
In the event that your herd of mouthy dinosaurs are being snarky with each other while in the middle of making dinner, might I suggest some creative discipline?
Now step one: Breathe
Step two: cry for a brief moment because you are out of wine
Step three: attempt to calmly put a stop to the snark with a firm “knock it off already”
Should snark continue – proceed to steps 4-6
Step four: issue a gentle warning that you are quickly losing your patience and that you are in the middle of a wine drought
Step five: shake your head in abject denial from the other room while you hear the snark escalating between your ferocious flock of pterodactyls
Step six – google wine delivery services and hope they exist as the snark continues to increase. At this point – issue an even firmer warning such as “do I really have to have this conversation again?”
Now that you have reached step 6 and if the snark continues – step 7-10 are extreme but it will be ok.
Step seven : take a deep breath and imagine yourself immersed in listening to old timey music while sipping wine. If you can calm yourself, the escalating snark will not touch your inner merlot zen
Step eight: ok now you blood pressure is starting to rise – it is time to bring them in to have a talk. Breathe deeply and remember the next two steps.
Step nine: look at them, (your evil little t-Rexes) and firmly (or as in my case loudly) state the following “I am done listening to you be hateful. One more nasty word and I am going to take your phones, shut off the internet, make you all sit in the living room and sing bad 80s love songs to each other” – feel free to edit the music selection
I promise it will stop them dead in their little brontosaurus tracks.
They will look at you and promptly go about making dinner in seething teenage silence.
Step ten: settle in and while lamenting the lack of wine – consider this a moment to revel in. No one got hurt, no real damage was done and they will spend dinner time being civil and shockingly nice to each other.
#parentingteenscreatively
#herdsofteensinmyhouse
#omgwhyareteenssoangsty
#defenseistheirlovelanguage
Parentingandwine 